Pro-Active Counselling

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THE RESULT OF A SPLIT SELF

CORPORATE CHARADE

 (EGO NEEDS - WHO WE WANT TO BE)

SELF

(ESSENCE OF WHO WE ARE)

Built on competency and success

Built on self-esteem

Corporate-confidence

Confidence comes from our corporate competence and success

Self-confidence

Confidence comes from self-esteem

External

Internal

Competency & success (transient - which will change)

Based on life's external circumstances

Seeks success to prove competence to self and others

Sense of self (permanent)

Based on the essence of who we are - our internal circumstances

Does not need to prove anything to self or others

Need to be competent & successful to maintain status

Become competent & successful

Need to be true to the self

Become who we are

Seek success to prove competence

Seeks to accept self

Rejects/Fears failure

Accepts and learns from mistakes

Focus on external factors

Other approving

Attempts to/believes can change what others think

Tries to/believes can control external circumstances

Focus on past and future (worry and anxiety)

Focus on internal factors

Self-approving

Does not need to change what others think

Does not try to control external factors

Focus on the now

Experiences/ perception (reality) is skewed by  underlying esteem beliefs

Experiences/perception (reality) is based on innate feelings

Success leaves us empty

Success fills us up

Who we are has a huge cost associated with it. Not maintainable over the long term. Relatively temporary.

Who we are is maintainable. There is a lower cost to doing that which we do well and that which comes naturally. Relatively permanent.

 

While these charts are displaying two extremes, we do not exist in absolutes. These charts show absolutes so that we can CLEARLY see the effects of these processes in play. This dynamic can occur in gradations, in shades of gray, not in black and white and can change from day to day. It may therefore more accurately be read as the extent to which we put on a Corporate Charade is the extent that we change our "selves". The extent to which we are not ourselves when we are successful is the extent to which we build our Corporate Confidence not our Self-Confidence. The extent to which we self-accept is the extent to which we access our self-esteem. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

Theravive Counselor