Pro-Active Counselling

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1)We want to feel good about ourselves. (Primary Objective)

2)We want to do a good job so that we can feel good about ourselves. (Secondary Objective "¦. To meet Primary Objective)

3)We want to let others know that we have done a good job. (Tertiary Objective "¦. To meet both Primary and Secondary Objectives.)

4)Success is rewarded with advancement.

5)If we develop and advance, there will be times when we are not able to competently perform our tasks and do a good job. (Peter Principle)

6)As we advance, our work becomes more demanding, creating additional pressure to perform competently. (External)

i)The nature of success causes the need for success.

7)As we advance, we become more demanding of ourselves/our ego becomes more demanding, creating additional pressure to perform competently. (Internal)

8)There is an inverse correlation between advancement and competence. (Peter Principle Quotient)

9)As our work becomes more demanding and our proven capabilities decrease, the probability of feeling inadequate escalates.

10)The higher the corporate level we are at when we experience this COMPETENCY DEFICIT, the more pressure there will be to appear competent.

11)Reality is our perception of it.

12)We want to be seen as competent by our superiors.

13)With the desire to appear competent, we end up putting on the pretence of capability where there is incompetence. (Corporate Charade)

14)We can't feel good about ourselves if we aren't being ourselves. Every time we pretend to be what we are not (CC), we send a negative message to the self.

15)The worse we feel about ourselves (internal), the more we focus on how others perceive us (external).

16)The more effort we put into people's perception of us (CC), the less effort we have left to put into our work. The less effort we put into our work, the worse our performance.

17)The worse our performance, the less competent we will FEEL and the more likely we will be to put on a Corporate Charade.

18)The more we change who we are (CC "“ External façade) the less we become who we are.

19)The less we become who we are (higher the CC), the greater the chance and the fear of being found out.

20)We don't function at our optimum level when we are afraid and therefore cannot reach our potential.

21)We can't control what others think (about us).

22)Self-confidence is not determined by what others think of us. It is determined by what we think of ourselves.

23)It is not possible to feel SELF-CONFIDENT if we are not being OURSELVES.

24)There is no direct and guaranteed correlation between success and self-esteem.

25)Corporate-confidence is based on our professional success and failure which strokes our ego, not our essence. Self-esteem is based on our acceptance of ourselves.

i)When our sense of self is attached to success and failure, we are acting from our ego not essence.

ii)Any attachment to success or failure is ego-based in nature.

iii)The more the ego is stroked, the more the ego needs to survive.

iv)Feeding our ego will never make us feel good about ourselves.

26)SELF-ESTEEM (FEELING GOOD ABOUT OURSELVES) IS BASED ON OUR ACCEPTANCE OF OURSELVES.

27)Ultimately, self-acceptance will enhance our performance more than competence or success.

28)All past actions cannot be changed. Feeling bad about past actions causes anxiety about future actions.

29)No benefit can be obtained by worrying about our ability to perform. It is the thinking, not the doing that causes anxiety.

30)Success and failure are not permanent states they are dynamic ways of being.

31)Self-acceptance can only occur in the moment.

32)If we do not enjoy the journey, we cannot enjoy our end goal.

33)Performing perfectly is not a perfect performance.

34)When we self-accept we will begin to FEEL.

35)Our ego carries with it our unresolved emotional baggage of the past.

36)It's our desire to give that makes us feel good about ourselves, not our need to get.

37)Our INTENTIONS impact our experiences. "Give" INTENTIONS are easier to carry out than "get" INTENTIONS.

38)BY NEEDING TO PROVE TO OTHERS (TERTIARY GOAL #3) THAT WE HAVE DONE A GOOD JOB (SECONDARY GOAL #2), WE ACTUALLY IMPAIR OUR ABILTIY TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT OURSELVES (PRIMARY GOAL #1).

39)The self is HAPPIEST being itself.

40)We Self-actualize when we are made happy by being ourselves.

Theravive Counselor